Blogs | Black America Web

Blogs | Black America Web This is sad but true. I'm not ready to write Tavis off just yet, but he risks becomming irrevelant by ceding too much of a platform that he once held with a vice grip. Not that Rev. Al Sharpton is a newcomer to the scene. Far from it!! But short of working with President Obama (in a grass-roots way by organizing at the community level) Tavis runs the risk of looking like a "hater". Rightly or wrongly, Tavis is viewed right now as the voice of dissent. He's one of the most notable black intellectuals in this unflattering role. Work with the President and our other black leaders Tavis. They need you, and so do we!

I Thought It Was Chivalry (Not Monogamy) That Was Dead?

Click on title for an interesting editorial......... Is the media over-hyping infidelity and women that have been scorned? Yes, there are many recent high-profile examples of men behaving badly, but is this the exception, or the rule? Ladies, I need your thoughts on this one.

Another "First"

Click on title for article........ Stories like this show how far we've come. We no longer have to prove that we are as smart as white people. President Obama and First Lady Michelle have resumes that 99% of white people in this country can’t compete with. Yet black people in high-profile jobs (even the Presidency) can't change the "hearts and minds" of many that would love nothing more than for things to regress back to the days where segregation was legal.

Big Ben (Accused Rapist) vs. Michael Vick (Convicted Dog-Fighter): Double Standard?

Please click on the title to see a good article... This article speaks for itself. Couldn't have said it better myself.

On Marriage & Morals

Which is more morally reprehensible: Open Marriage or Gay Marriage? I believe strongly that marriage is between one man and one woman, so by definition, I would be vastly opposed to both of the aforementioned. As a heterosexual, it is not surprising that I have a major problem with gay marriage. (No offense to my lone gay friend, but she knows I still love her). I certainly believe that gays and lesbians should have the same rights afforded to them under the Constitution as heterosexuals; just not marriage. Maybe it's my strongly-held religious beliefs, maybe it's that I'm NOT as liberal as I vote, maybe it's my own sexual orientation, but I just feel that if gay marriage becomes the law of the land across the United States, then what next? Legalizing polygamy? Or allowing a man and a horse to get married? At some point, there has to be some principles for which we hold sacred about the sanctity of marriage, and at the very least a guiding principle of marriage is that it is between a man and a woman. When I hear the gay and lesbian movement liken their plight to the plight of blacks fighting for civil rights in the 1950's and 60's they lose my sympathy. To me, there's no comparison. Do I favor civil unions for gays? Sure. Should these civil unions be written in such a way as to include the same benefits that married couples enjoy? Absolutely. But that is as far as I can go with the whole gay marriage debate. Now to the idea of open marriage. Critics of open marriage say that it is a pact entered into unwillingly by women. Most women simply agree to it to please their man, they argue. There may be some truth to this, especially if a couple has been married for awhile and then the man springs up the ‘open marriage idea’. Some women might go along with an open marriage to ‘get along’, but only as an alternative to being with a man that they figure will leave or cheat anyway if they don’t. They might say to themselves, “I’d rather be in an open marriage, than gamble on trying to find a man that will be faithful and wind up getting hurt.” Some of these women may purposely remain single into their 30’s because of skepticism of love and committed relationships. They have seen their girlfriends give their all to men, only to be devastated with the revelation of an affair. Some have even seen their own mother hurt and abandoned by their father; and then witnessed their mother in a revolving door of bad relationships with men that were unfaithful. However, using this assumption is also assuming that most women aren’t assertive about what THEY want, need, and expect in a marriage. I just don’t believe that most women will voluntarily acquiesce to something as serious as being in an open marriage. Open marriage is still relatively rare, but my assumption is that more and more women that are in open marriages consent because they are as adventurous and enjoy variety as much as the men. It’s also possible that women in open marriages have problems with commitment or monogamy like their husbands. Now the question is: Are either one of these deviant forms of marriage likely to end in “happily ever after”, or are the divorce rates for these couples as high as traditional married couples?

Airing Dirty Laundry

Should President Barack Obama have a “black agenda”? Michael Baisden, host of “The Michael Baisden Show” has always said that President Barack Obama cannot and SHOULD NOT fix what ails black America all by himself. He reiterated that on his show recently, as he talked about the Tavis Smiley/Rev. Al Sharpton brouhaha that had been brewing on the Tom Joyner Morning Show. Baisden made some excellent points. Among them were: We all have to be held accountable for the state of black America (Many of these issues LONG predate a Barack Obama presidency). Each neighborhood, each household has to do its part. If black businesses are faring worse in this recession, Baisden said, is that President Barack Obama’s fault alone when many blacks don’t patronize black businesses? Baisden added that when we do patronize black-owned businesses, we generally write them off forever if they make a mistake. But the same people don’t close their accounts with banks that have gotten bailout money, dealt in risky speculation, and contributed, in part, to homes being foreclosed on, and the entire economic meltdown. Tavis Smiley feels that black leaders have given Barack Obama a pass on black issues. And he said that if we don’t RIGHT NOW hold a black president to accountability that it will lead to our sure demise. He said how can we, in good conscious try to resurrect a black agenda with the next president if we don’t demand the same with Obama. He said with all due respect, if he were the next president of the United States and white, he would basically tell black leaders to “Get Lost”. You didn’t ask this of President Obama”, Tavis argued, so you have no credibility. Rev. Al Sharpton feels that to assume the duly elected President of 50 states can have a black agenda alone is asinine. Instead, he feels that we have to help the President so that he doesn’t have to compromise his tenuous position as the President of ALL people. Example: A jobs bill. Although unemployment disproportionately affects blacks, Sharpton knows a bill can’t be called “The Brothas & Sistas Jobs Bill: Puttin Uncle Leroy Back to Work. He also said, How does it look to tell our young black kids to go to school, study hard, and that they can achieve anything, and not support a black man who is president with his black wife and kids?? The man, Sharpton argued played by the rules, went to Harvard and excelled. Sharpton also said that he believes that if people aren’t out there on the front lines trying to get RESULTS for blacks, then they are just ego-tripping. He said blacks don’t need more meetings and televised town hall meetings. They need ACTION!! He said he doesn’t agree with everything Obama does, but his goal is always to see where he can find common ground with the president, and said that the President has always been receptive to his suggestions.

Steele and Palin: Republican Puppets

If Sarah Palin is the Republican Party's "chosen one", then the entire party is a joke! If I was a Republican Party leader, I would want Sarah Palin on a one-way plane trip to The North Pole! I would be loud about the fact that she is a horrible choice to be a counterpoint to President Obama. I believe they are using her and the Tea Party as a distraction. But if they are pandering and gutter-diving, then what does that say about the Party? They don't want to talk about issues. And they really don't have ANYONE in the Republican Party that has the intellect, charisma, and ideas for moving the country out of the mess Bush created like Obama. So they use the age-old tactic, and practice the politics of "distraction" and "divisiveness". Another pawn for the Republican Party. Michael Steele. Michael Steele would have NEVER been asked to be the chairman of the Repulican Party if Hillary Clinton had been elected president! The fact that he is too dumb to see that is hilarious to me, and the crazy thing is that Steele is actually a pretty smart guy! It's even more hilarious that making him the President of the RNC seems to have backfired in their face, with many of the Republican Party bosses wanting Steele to be fired. I have no respect for Steele because he knows that he is a pawn, but chooses to ignore it to advance his own agenda.

Catholic Church: Who Does The Pope Confess To?

I have Catholic friends. I graduated from a Catholic high school. But the Catholic church’s systemic and long-standing policy of covering up child sexual abuse by its priests is more than sinful, it’s also criminal. Now, this obstruction of justice has reached the highest level of the Catholic Church: The pope. Simply put, I’m starting to think that the Catholic Church hides pedophiles under the artful façade of the cloth. Pedophiles with white collars seem to have safe harbor in the Catholic church the way terrorists have safe harbor in Afghanistan! This is aiding and abetting in the worst way. We’re talking about kid’s lives. We’re talking about a colossal betrayal of trust. If a kid can’t trust their priest, who else can they trust?

Your Man Loves You, But He Cheats

Tiger Woods. President Bill Clinton. Eric Benet. David Letterman. Gov. Mark Sanford. Gov. Elliot Spitzer. Rev. Jesse Jackson. Bill Cosby. Jesse James. Rev. Jimmy Swaggart. President John F. Kennedy. Rev. Jamal Bryant. Matthew Knowles. Magic Johnson. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. What do all of these men have in common: They are all cheaters!! Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and they are universally loved by men. The problem is, there are so many women in this world that it is hard for men to choose. According to Wikipedia, there is a world-wide population of 6,813,600,000 as of April 9, 2010. That’s almost seven BILLION people!! No one can know for sure how many of this 6.8 billion are women (and for the purposes of this blog, “women” is defined as any and all humans that have a vagina and are at least 21 years of age), but in some neighborhoods, women easily outnumber men by as many as 8 to 1!! Unless your name is Tiger Woods, 8 is a lot of women to juggle at one time, but that doesn’t stop brothas from trying! The question many women want to know is: Why can’t men be faithful? But frankly, that’s like asking, “Why is the sky blue?!” Men cheat because they can. But it would be overly simplistic to break it down only in terms of the ratio of women to men. Monogamy is unnatural!! There, I said it!! Chris Rock said married men, in order to NOT cheat, have to “recycle the p*ssy”, but for some men, there isn’t enough recycling (or sexual tricks) in the world!! Recycling still means life without the possibility of another woman’s…………… uh, well you get the point!! Men would love not to cheat, but it’s not in our nature to NOT cheat. Do you honestly think any of the great men I mentioned above wanted to risk tarnishing their reputations, hurting their wives and children, and in some cases losing their jobs and families? Hell no!! So if the men above cheated (including quite a few preachers), what do you think your man is doing? I laugh at women that say what their man won’t do! Someone reading this might think that I’m some sort of insensitive, SINGLE bastard that condones cheating. I don’t!! But I’m baffled by why women continually fall into the trap of believing that if they just ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ then their man won’t cheat. ‘If I just sex him better’, blah, blah, blah!! Take a good look at the list of men above. One of the men is Eric Benet. Remember him? He was married to Halle Berry for crying out loud! Halle Berry I said!! Arguably the world’s finest woman! Another trap women fall into is the trap of love. “He wouldn’t do that to me because he loves me!” Yeah OK lady! Tell me when you get off that high you’re on, cause you obviously just smoked some good sh*t! If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you! But the biggest trap women make is in trying to understand. Stop asking “Why?” Haven’t you heard that Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. People make it seem like a man cheating on his wife started with Tiger Woods! Cheating is old as dirt! Giacomo Casanova was probably the world’s 1st player back in the 18th century. That’s why modern-day players are often referred to as “Cassanova’s”. People like to talk about their parents, and how they have been married for 45 years; and about Grandpa Ruford and Grandma Hilda, and how they have been married for 70 years! Well, I got news for you: Your daddy cheated!! Grandpa Ruford did too!! Do you REALLY believe that he was ONLY with Hilda for 70 years?!! Hell, cheating on Grandma Hilda is how Ruford lasted 70 years! But why are countless men risking it all for the sex? My wife likes to say, “He went through all that over a piece of p*ssy!!” She said it about Tiger Woods. Said it about President Clinton. Said it about people we know. But the truth ladies is that men are as faithful as our options. And there are lots of options for most men. Even ugly men. Don’t believe me. Well, obviously, you didn’t see Notorious!! Even Biggie Smalls was getting it in! And before you say to yourself, “Yeah, but THAT dude had dough!” we all knew a Biggie in school, or in the neighborhood back in the day! The kind of dude that you would just scratch your head and say, “Damn, how the f*ck is he getting all these girls?!!” Or, “What do they see in HIM?!” Now as mad as I probably made some of you (my wife included), notice what I didn’t say. I didn’t say that a man CAN’T be faithful. Nor did I say that there aren’t ANY faithful men out there. OK, very few, but they’re out there ladies. OK, 99% of the faithful men are in jail, but they are still “out there”! A man can force himself into being monogamous. And as long as he stays committed to his commitment to stay faithful, he WILL be. And time is definitely a factor. The longer a man has been faithful in a committed, long-term relationship/marriage, the more likely it is that he will remain faithful. For the hopeless romantics reading this, what else do most of these men have in common: Most of the men I mentioned are, or stayed married to the woman they cheated on. I know I probably didn’t add any great insight to the age-old act of cheating, but as I always say, “It is what it is!!” Click on the title ("Your Man Loves You But He Cheats") to connect to a blog on this topic by Deya Direct Smith (Just added on 4/13/10)

Two-Faced Media: Love/Hate Obama

If you are one of those people that believe everything you see and hear in the news, then it’s clear: The American people have turned against President Barack Obama. We’re led to believe this because of the health care bill that Obama signed into law. But the media’s coverage of the growing malcontents had started even before then. Judging by what we see on the news every night, one would conclude that the 66,882,220 Americans that voted for Barack Obama (43% of that 66 million were white) now regret that decision and favor immediate impeachment! It’s hard to believe that 14 short months ago, the nation’s 44th president and the first African-American president took office amid a groundswell of adulation and support. The media talked about Obama as being a transformative president before he was even sworn in. Said that his very election would usher in a new era of race relations in this country. Headlines declared we were now in a “post-racial” America. Because he had such appeal among white voters and was, in fact, bi-racial himself, it was said that Barack Obama transcended race. We saw story after story of whites in tears, side by side with blacks as Barack Obama took the oath of office. The country, after its long and terrible history of hatred and discrimination was finally united. That was the picture that was portrayed by the media, not too long ago. I admit, I bought into it too. After all, electing a black president was a very big step forward. I thought that maybe, just maybe the country had matured over night, and that old, entrenched feelings on race were now a thing of the past. Now, I’m starting to think that this unified picture of a happy, healthy, color-blind, race-aloof America was Act I in a sinister script that now has the media showing images of the old, pre-Obama America, except we went back, not to 2008, we went back 50 years before that to 1958! So Act II is the bombardment of images in the media of violent, racist Tea Party demonstrators spitting on black congressmen and calling them ‘Nigger’. Act II is also the constant mention of the re-emergence of radical civilian militia groups, and whites going to their local gun shops and buying guns in record numbers. And as if to further emphasize (and escalate) this point, much was made over the recent comment by Sarah Palin, telling Republican supporters to “re-load, not retreat”. This comment was made, I believe the day President Obama signed health care into law, and was meant to rally Republicans around the idea of trying to repeal the legislation. To all this, I say, so much for the “pass” that critics say Barack Obama got by what they claim was a chummy, pliable media during the 2008 presidential election. [Source: CNN for 66,882,220 votes for Obama; The New York Times exit poll showed 43% of those votes were white.]

Our Loss

The Director of the U.S. Census effort apologized for using the word "Negro" on the 2010 census form. Apology accepted, but they could have put "Nigger" on the form for all I care!! Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. Words matter. Especially a word that has been used to stereotype and discriminate against blacks. But this is an argument for another day! Fill out the Census Form first. Complain later. It is not the Census Bureau Director's neighborhood that will lose valuable government funding by NOT filling out the form. It is OURS!! Regardless of what someone calls you, you know who you are. Not filling out the census form because of the word "Negro" is akin to someone handing you a briefcase filled with one million dollars, and you hand it back because you are offended when they tell you that the million dollars is your "welfare check"!! Not to diminish the use of the word on the form, but the real reason many of us have not filled out the form is because we are naturally suspicious of the government. And we have good reason to be a little suspicious! But fill out the form people! We can't complain about the blight in our communities if we refuse to do something as simple as filling out a form!!

Hello Ain't Hard

A couple of questions to my sistas: 1) Is every brotha that speaks to you in public tryna holler? and 2) Is it that hard to smile and say hi in return? I know a lot of you are used to being "hit on" every day, and I can imagine it can get old real quick when the catch phrase that keeps coming out of brothas mouths is, "Hey Shawty!!", or "What's up ma?!" These overused salutations can turn even the most friendly, naive, "green" sistas into suspicious, worldly, street-smart divas. Spring is here and Summer is soon approaching, and as the clothes get skimpier and skimpier, you are sure to hear many more, "Hey Shawty's!!" But women, listen out for the occasional, "Hello", or the equally cordial "You look nice today." OK, I admit that the aforementioned, "You look nice today." can easily turn into, "Can I call you sometime?" Maybe all of this lack of civility is indicative of the broader society, and maybe it's not just something that sistas do to brothas. I can't count the number of times, for example that I've spoken to some of my black brethren, and they act like they have cotton balls in their ears, or like a cat has got their tongue!! It's gotten to the point where I barely want to speak, and I am an affable, friendly person by nature. However, I pick and choose when I speak now. I actually get nervous in the split second that it takes before deciding whether to speak to someone. Because few things get my blood boiling more than speaking to someone, only to get the GASFACE in return!! Whether it be men or women, I guess not speaking is the sign of the times: Sadly, people just aren't as friendly as they used to be.

Urban Carnage

If shooting and killing other blacks were a sport, too many young black men would be as skilled and adept as LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. In what is being called one of the "deadliest shootings in years" by the Washington Post, 9 people were injured, 4 of them fatally, in a drive-by shooting last night less than 8 miles away from the White House. This same pathetic scene is played out time and time again in black neighborhoods all across America. Not only are we the only race of people who routinely kill each other with reckless abandon; we are also the only race of people who make excuse after excuse for the punks that commit these heinous crimes. However un-representative these thugs may be of the black community overall, the constant killings demand both outrage and action from ALL blacks. Someone needs to start getting mad! Better yet, two or three "someones" need to start gettin mad, and that needs to spread like the H1N1 virus to every hood, every city and every town in this country where black blood is spilled like oil. This senseless violence should signal a "State of Emergency" in our communities!! Everyone has to take responsibility: parents, teachers, clergymen/women, community leaders, politicians, etc. We must return to the days where RESPECT was not just a hit song, and where UNITY was not just an ideal concept that we talked about. Mentalities have to change. There's plenty of blame to go around. We all need to be held accountable. I honestly believe that we should adopt Islamic-style law in the black community. Rape and murder are punishable by death. I say arm all the civilized, pro-life blacks (PLBs) with guns, and let them execute all the would-be murderers that are currently terrorizing entire black communities. Perhaps the creation of a black militia to deal with other blacks is even in order! To my Christian friends who would beat me over the head with the 6th commandment: "Thou shalt not kill", I say that what's been done in the past hasn't worked!! Desperate times call for desperate measures. What we have advocated in the past (letting the criminal justice system deal with these punks) has proved to be woefully inadequate. If not us, then who?! If not now, then, when?!